When did it become acceptable, expected really, that we should have to do everything?
I ask myself this as I sit down to write an essay, due in 4 hours, for my online teaching class.
Why am I in an online teaching class? I'm not really sure, because maybe some day I will want to be an instructor at something I suppose. The real reason, I know is because I can't stifle my competitivsim. I try to live life, meander along, find peace and beauty in what I do. Then without warning that little push, that tiny voice sneaks in, telling me to do more, to be the best. I blame middle child syndrome. It happened when I realized that all of my colleagues and coworkers (well not all... not even half ... probably not a quarter, but still), started talking about grad school, and getting their masters, and becoming specialists, andandand again... and so now, I find myself enrolled in online teaching school.
This itself wouldn't be so bad, I enjoy learning occasionally.
But no, I also have recently decided to pick up extra hours at my second job. This is fine, this job is there should I need it. The ridiculous part you see, is that I do not need to pick up hours at my second job. I make enough money, though not an obscene amount, but just enough, to support myself, my dog, my occasional compulsive shopping sprees and to help out my family should they need it. I just so happened to notice, around the same time I was enlisting for classes, that I had some days off, some gaps in my schedule. Heaven forbid. Apparently days off are the enemy.
And so now it is nights at work, days at work, school on evenings and weekends. It is my fault, my competitive, my be the best, my I can do everything pride. And so I can't even rightfully complain.
Also. When did it become fall?
I woke up with three quilts on my bed this morning.
The wind is blowing like the Dickens out.
I saw three red leaves while walking Koko this morning.
I am drinking Green Mountain Coffee Roasters; autumn harvest blend black currently while Johnny Cash's Sunday Morning Sidewalk plays.
I love it.
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I think that people tend to occupy themselves with multiple duties and obligations when they have some secret little gap hidden somewhere deep inside. You should try to find that gap and fill it with what it needs, not with filling up your daily schedule.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, education, learning , creativity are positive things, so it's good to try to keep on developing yourself as you do.
And don't be sad about Autumn.Think about its magnificent colours, opulent golds and luminous reds, roasted chestnuts, fragrant chrysanthemums, the tickle of the festive holiday season in the air, chique shawls, coats, nice new boots, your own fashion parade in the street covered with fallen leaves :))